We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They have beer where we have blood.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
