i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
