Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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