I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
