Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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