I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
