I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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