I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
