my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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