Already got asked if we're dating
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
