yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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