i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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