i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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