You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You ruined the universe
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize