This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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