Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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