You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
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This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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