You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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