Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
