508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
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That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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