I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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