I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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