Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
