I got her a Nickelback box set.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
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I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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