Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
