I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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