how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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