when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
