Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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