Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
