im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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