My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize