The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
