I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
