having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
