Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
