Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
