Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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