I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
