did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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