Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
