I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
