I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize