craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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