Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
