If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
