Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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