Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
