then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
