eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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