I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
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he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
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No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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