My nipple is on Facebook.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
