So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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