Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
