You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
