I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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