mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
