I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
