first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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