I faked an abortion last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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