got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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