My nipple is on Facebook.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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