That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
