Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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