Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
