I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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